Painful Page 2

  Peering up at the tease, I seductively told her, “I like your shirt.”

  She flushed all over in that adorable way that I just couldn’t get enough of. I felt my blood surging in response. I couldn’t wait to get her home. Or go home with her. Wherever. It didn’t matter as long as we were alone. And we could be alone all night, since the D-Bags weren’t performing later, and Kiera had the night off from Pete’s. For the next several hours, she was mine and mine alone. As soon as we got out of here, of course.

  Almost as soon as I thought that, I was bombarded by fans. Hands grabbed my arms, physically begging for my time. Since I owed the fans ten times over for all they’d given me, I tore my attention from Kiera and turned to face them. “Ladies…how’s it going?”

  A busty brunette started fanning her face. “Oh my God, Kellan Kyle…I love you so much.” Her face flushed brighter than Kiera’s after she said that. “Can I have your autograph?” she squeaked.

  “Sure thing,” I said with a smile. As I grabbed her pen and signed a Bumbershoot flyer, I asked the group, “Did everyone enjoy the show?”

  There was a lot of tittering, followed by gushing praise that almost embarrassed me. Laughing at their passionate display, I signed more flyers and posed for photos. Then a girl in a tank top pulled down her shirt, exposing her ample cleavage. “Sign me here? Please, please, please!”

  All her friends giggled as they stared at me with eager faces. I flashed a glance at Kiera, who was standing back, respectfully giving me space. What would she think if I did this? She probably wouldn’t like it, but really, it was just skin, the important part of the girl’s breasts was still completely covered. Kiera would be okay in the end, and it would make the fan’s day if I granted her request.

  It seemed innocent enough to me since there wasn’t any real nakedness, so I grabbed the fan’s Sharpie and got to work signing her chest. The girl turned aggressive with me being that close and grabbed my ass while I was signing. I almost pushed her away, but…it was all in good fun. As long as she didn’t try to cup my junk, it was fine.

  Playing along, I tapped her on the nose with the end of the pen when I handed it back to her. “Be good,” I playfully warned.

  “Oh sugar, I’m always good,” was her sultry response. Then she erupted into squeals and giggles and twisted around to show the signature to her friends. Shaking my head, I turned to the next person seeking my attention.

  Just as I was finishing up with the group, I heard someone exclaim, “Kiera, my future lover! I’m thrilled you came to check me out. Did you like what you saw?”

  Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Griffin cupping himself, making a beeline for my girlfriend. When he got to her, he grabbed her hand. Oh…I don’t think so. While the look on Kiera’s face was priceless—fear mixed with revulsion—I wasn’t about to let Griffin finish whatever torment he had planned for her. Excusing myself from the fans, I hurried over and snatched Kiera’s hand away from my bassist. Stepping between them, I shoved Griffin’s shoulder. “Fuck off, Griffin.”

  Quickly getting over it, Griffin shrugged and found someone else to pester. Good. Kiera leaned into my side, and I could almost feel the gratitude radiating from her. Griffin was probably Kiera’s least favorite person in all the world. “Thanks,” she murmured.

  Absorbing her comfort, I kissed her head. “No problem. I know how much you love conversing with Griffin.”

  Waving goodbye to the remaining fans, I led Kiera away from the stage and back to the main part of the park. The guys, with their respective gals, except Anna who was busy today, fell into step behind me. Once we were away from the fans and the stage, no one paid too much attention to us, and we were able to disappear into the masses. That was fine with me. I’d given my fans my all, and now I wanted to relax with Kiera.

  Kiera looked lost in thought as we walked along the paths, and I wondered if she was thinking about our first time here at the festival, back when she’d been with Denny, and I’d merely been…keeping her occupied. Of course, it had been a lot more than that. I’d already been in love with her, although, I hadn’t admitted it to myself yet. I’d just known she was…special to me. And Kiera…I think she’d been falling for me too, during that time. Denny’s sudden departure when he’d left for work had crushed her spirit, and right or wrong, I’d helped her pick up the pieces, and in the process, wormed my way into her heart.

  Griffin came up behind me and slapped me on the back, jolting me from my thoughts. Nodding back at Matt and his tiny, Latin-Asian girlfriend, Rachel, he said, “We’re gonna go check out some of the other bands. Comin’?”

  I looked back at Evan and Jenny, but they were in their own little world, and clearly didn’t care about listening to bands at the moment. Kiera might though. While she always told me the D-Bags were better than anyone else, I think she liked hearing what other groups could do. Shifting my focus to her, I started to ask her if she wanted to go with Matt and Griffin, but her stomach answered before I could finish, rumbling with a growl loud enough for all of us to hear. Kiera closed her eyes, embarrassed, and I couldn’t help but laugh at her. She gave me a glare that was more cute than intimidating, and I laughed even harder.

  Twisting back to Griffin, I told him, “I think we’ll get something to eat first. We’ll catch up with you later.”

  Rachel, Matt, and Griffin took off to find entertainment, and I looked over at Kiera nestled in my side. “Should we get some food in you, Noisy?”

  She looked so annoyed, I couldn’t help but lower my lips to hers. Then she didn’t look so annoyed anymore. Her passionate nature kicked in the second my tongue brushed against hers, and her hands reached up to fist my hair. I could feel her fast breath, could imagine her racing heart… The way she reacted to me ignited me, and I knew, if I didn’t put the brakes on this quick, we might end up in a very compromising position in a very public place. Not that I would mind if that happened. Kiera would though.

  Not able to resist teasing her a little, I pulled away from her with a laugh; her hooded eyes almost drew me right back to her lips, but somehow, I managed to stop myself from caving into the temptation. “Do you need a minute?” I asked, enacting our old code for Let’s slow down.

  Like an agitated cat, Kiera smacked me on the chest and stormed off. Unfortunately, she was heading in the opposite direction of the food. Laughing a little harder, I grabbed her elbow and turned her around. “Food’s that way. Unless you had something else in mind?” Her eyes simmered, and I could almost see all the erotic possibilities that had just flooded her brain. I couldn’t wait to explore some of them with her later.

  God, how did my life go from complete crap to complete bliss? And why couldn’t I shake the feeling that all of this…was temporary.

  * * *

  After Bumbershoot, Kiera and I went to the apartment that she shared with her sister, Anna. She’d moved in with Anna after I’d kicked her out last December, a dark time I hated thinking about. The apartment was tiny, but thankfully it had two bedrooms, so the girls didn’t have to bunk up. I kind of hated that Kiera still lived here—I was ready for her to return to me. My place was so cold without her. It felt huge with her light gone, and very, very empty.

  Throwing open her apartment door with a dramatic flourish, I led Kiera into her place with a wide smile on my face. This afternoon had been incredible, and I was still buzzing with energy. Energy I now wanted to release…

  The second Kiera set her purse on a nearby table, I grabbed her. Before she could truly comprehend what was going on, I had her pinned to the closed door. Like she was a magnet, drawing me in, my mouth instantly lowered to hers. We connected, and I swear physical sparks erupted in the air. Being with Kiera had always been like that—electric, powerful…undeniable. She was my greatest blessing and my biggest weakness.

  Memories tumbled through my brain as the heat between us escalated. Memories of meeting her for the first time, watching her from a distance…wanting her. Memories of having her,
memories of losing her. Pain tightened around my chest just as surely as love warmed my soul. Would I ever be able to let the past go? The betrayal, the heartache…the agony.

  Yes, I had to. Kiera was everything to me, and I wouldn’t lose her to my insecurities. We would keep moving forward, and eventually, the past would be so far behind us, the pain would lose its hold on us. Right…like how the pain your parents inflicted on you is gone? That’s the past too, idiot.

  Shoving aside that bitter thought, I refocused on Kiera. Being with her was all I wanted to think about—every second of every day. Her breath was as fast as mine, her fingers firmly tangled in my hair. Every inch of my body was pressed against her, but I still wasn’t close enough. Running my hand along her backside, I pulled her leg around my hip, so I could press my body where it longed to be. Kiera groaned, and I pulsed with need. God, what this woman did to me.

  Thankfully, I did the same thing to her. She broke apart from me, impatient lust clear on her face. “Kellan…bedroom…”

  She wanted me. Just as much as I wanted her. Was she ready then? To amp this up, just a little bit? To somewhat return to where we’d been…before. No. Not return to that. But move forward to something much better. Something equal. Curiosity and a different kind of need ate through my desire, poking holes in my physical cravings. I had to ask her, had to find out where she was…emotionally.

  But because I couldn’t resist playing with her, I didn’t pull away just yet. Instead, I lowered my lips to her neck, tasting and teasing every sensitive nerve cluster. Kiera groaned again, rubbing against me in a vain attempt to find relief. And damn, it felt good having her grind on me. Knowing I was close to having her in a frenzy made a small laugh escape me as I ran my tongue along her collarbone. It almost made me want to put my question on the back burner for another day, just so I could tease her longer. Riling her up was definitely one of my favorite hobbies.

  Annoyed that I was having a good time tormenting her, Kiera pushed my shoulders back, an adorable frown on her lips. It made me want to suck on them, but I resisted. As much as I wanted to fulfil her request and explore every inch of her, the question I wanted to ask still burned throughout my body, and for this answer…sex could wait. For a little bit.

  Kiera stared at me through hooded eyes, her breath still fast with desire. Seeing the physical manifestation of her need sent fire through every nerve ending in my body. I didn’t let her see that though. Hiding my own response to her, I shifted my expression to a playful smile and dropped her leg. Cocking my head to the side, I took a step away from her. “Are you ever going to move back in with me?” I casually asked. It didn’t feel like a casual question to my stomach, and while I didn’t let it show on my face, my heart surged in my chest. I wanted this. Desperately. Please say yes, Kiera. I’m tired of being apart from you.

  Kiera blinked, clearly disoriented by my odd change in direction. She was having trouble disengaging her sex drive, and I could tell she wanted to ignore my question, throw me down somewhere, and have her way with me. Maybe the hideous orange couch in the living room? Or right here in the entryway? I was open to whatever she wanted, wherever she wanted it. With curiosity and confusion on her face, she took a sidestep away from me, toward the hallway leading to her room. Ah…so it was to be her uncomfortable bed then.

  Seeing a way to make my question seem indifferent and not at all lifechanging, even though my heart was still trying to bruise the inside of my chest, I nodded my head toward her bedroom and said, “Because I really hate having sex on a futon. Not that I won’t, though,” I added with a wink. I’d have sex anywhere she wanted.

  My comment worked to disarm her, and she smirked. Grabbing my hand, she said, “You’re the one that kicked me out.”

  Her voice was light and airy, but I heard the pain in her simple statement. Yes, I did this. I separated us. It had been for the right reasons, but still, I’d made the cut. Remembering why I’d torn us made acid fill my chest, smothering my rapidly beating heart. Maybe it was too soon, if just mentioning that time still hurt so much. Banishing the anguish from my expression, I forced a laugh. “Well, it sounded like a good idea at the time.” Maybe not a good idea, but definitely a necessary one. We wouldn’t be the same now if we hadn’t…paused.

  Stopping at her bedroom door, Kiera put a hand on my chest. “No, it was a good idea.” Reaching up, she cupped my cheek. “You and I needed space. We needed to get our heads on straight.”

  Her words matched my thoughts, but still…I hated hearing her say them. I tried to smile, but a sigh ruined it. “Well, now that they are…why don’t you come back?” Feeling painful hope wrap around my chest, I cinched my arms around her waist. When I spoke again, my voice came out more seriously than I intended. “I know we’ve taken things slow, but I still want to move forward…with you.” All the way forward…’til death do us part forward.

  Kiera’s eyes glistened as she stared at me. There was so much love and warmth in her gaze, I could feel it glowing upon my skin. But there was reservation there too…and fear. She smiled in a way that clearly said, don’t take what I’m about to say the wrong way, and I felt my heart sinking. She was going to tell me no. Like she understood she was about to hurt me, she began running her fingers through my hair in a soothing pattern, and combined with the love emanating from her, I felt myself relaxing. It was okay if she wasn’t ready. No matter what she said, it would be fine. We were in this together, and if she needed more time, then she would get it. I wasn’t going anywhere.

  In a voice oozing reassurance, she told me, “I think it’s better if we keep waiting. I’ve sort of come into my own, being with my sister. I don’t want to fall right back into needing a man to feel…complete.”

  Her words were difficult to hear, mainly because I knew she was right. Denny had been such an integral part of her, and she hadn’t known how to be apart from him. That dependence had bitten our relationship in the ass more than once…and theirs too…if I was being completely honest. Hell, if she’d overcome that feeling while she’d been with Denny, then we probably wouldn’t have gotten together in the first place…even though I liked to believe we were fated to be together, no matter what. But since being separated from Denny, and from me—since she’d been forced into isolation—she had become a stronger person. Every day she was becoming stronger, more confident. She wanted to embrace that growth. I wanted her to embrace that growth. I just…wanted her to do it with me. Kiera wasn’t the only one with dependency issues.

  Even though I partially agreed with her—it wasn’t the right time for us—I poured my heart out in a profoundly honest question. “What if I’m the one that needs you?” The truth of that sentence seeped into my pores, stinging me. “I hate sleeping alone.” I hate being alone. You’re stronger without me. How do I become stronger without you when you’re all I need?

  Something silent passed between us. Understanding. Kiera knew what I was truly saying, heard the words buried underneath my spoken words, and she got it, she got me. Because, while in some ways we were wildly different, in others, we were mirror images. Soulmates. She gave me a bright smile, one that burned away the sudden melancholy, made me feel like I could do anything, as long as she was by my side. Even live apart from her, as ironic as that was. “You’ll be all right,” she said. I believed her, but I frowned at her anyway. She laughed, then told me, “Besides, we almost always end up sleeping together anyway.”

  She flushed such a bright red after she said it, that I knew she’d just realized how suggestive that sounded. Always a split-second too late. That was what made teasing her so much fun. Grinning, feeling lighthearted again and confident that my girl loved me, I reached behind her to open her bedroom door. “Exactly. Think of the gas money we’d save.” I walked her backward into her room, as I continued trying to win her over with logic. “And rent…you wouldn’t have to pay that, living with me. You could work less, concentrate on school more.”

  With a sigh, she flicked on he
r light. “I like my life, Kellan. I finally feel…well-rounded.”

  There wasn’t a single part of me that could let that sentence go. Kicking the door closed, I cupped her ass. “Yes, I know, very well-rounded.” A peeved curve to her lip, she smacked me on the shoulder. I laughed, then pulled her tight as I let out a dramatic sigh. With a soft kiss, I told her, “Fine.” I’d drop it…for now.

  After a few soft kisses that got my blood pumping, I pulled back. Kicking off my shoes, I pointed at her ridiculous excuse for a bed. “But that seriously sucks. Can I at least buy you a decent bed?” Something without a hard bar running through it. Something big enough to…stretch out in. Would a California King fit in this room?

  Kiera smiled, relief evident on her face. Stepping out of her own shoes, she grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the dreaded contraption. “Of course. You can even help me break it in.”

  Her slim fingers began removing my shirt, and as I helped her, my grin was unstoppable. “Hmmm…you may have sold me on this idea.”

  She tossed my shirt on the ground, then ran her hands down my chest. Her finger traced the swirled letters of her name upon my skin, and my breath caught. It was like a jolt of lightning up my spine whenever she touched my tattoo. “Anything that ends with sex sells you,” she laughed.

  Sex with you, yes. Playfully pushing her back onto the awful bed, I leaned over and murmured, “True.”