Thoughtful Read online

  Not amused, Griffin eyed each one of us in turn. “Fuck you, and you, and you.” With that, he stormed off, the front door banging closed behind him.

  Matt sighed as the last of his laughter left him. “I suppose I should go pacify him. We do need his van for the gig tonight.” I thumped his shoulder as he walked by. Good luck.

  Two weeks later, I was still living alone in my parents’ empty house when the phone in my kitchen rang.

  “Hello?” I asked, picking it up. Leaning back on the counter, I played with a section of the cord while I waited for a response. It was quick in coming.

  “Hey, Kellan?”

  My lips broadened into a wide smile as recognition hit me. I knew the accent on the other end of the line. I’d know it anywhere. “Denny?”

  Just hearing his voice again made me feel lighter, like my worries were already fading. Denny Harris had been one of the brightest spots of my childhood, perhaps the only one. In order to look like freaking saints to their friends, my parents had decided to participate in hosting a sixteen-year-old exchange student when I was fourteen. They hadn’t asked my opinion, of course, but I’d been fine with the arrangement. I’d always wanted a brother, and the idea of having a friend at home for an entire year had sounded amazing.

  I’d counted down the days until his arrival, and when the time finally came, I’d bounded down the stairs to meet him.

  When I’d rushed into the entryway, a tan, dark-haired teen had been standing between my parents, looking around our home with interested eyes. A polite smile was on his lips as he raised his hand in greeting; his eyes were just as dark as his close-cropped hair. I’d returned his gesture with a crooked grin. I had been the only family member smiling.

  Mom’s lips had been pursed in disapproval. Dad had been scowling, but that was nothing new. Dad had always scowled at me.

  In a prudish voice, Mom had said, “It’s rude to keep your guests waiting, Kellan. You should have been waiting at the door, or met us at the car so you could help unload the bags.”

  Dad barked, “What the hell took you so long?”

  I’d wanted to say that I should have been waiting at the airport with them, but that was an argument I couldn’t win, so I hadn’t bothered bringing it up. I’d asked to go, but they’d made me stay home. Mom had said I would just “get in the way,” like I was a toddler and still underfoot or something. Dad had simply said, “No. Stay here.”

  I’d been upstairs playing my guitar when I’d heard the front door open. It had taken me all of thirty seconds to set it down and run out there. But, knowing nothing I said would have mattered, I’d merely widened my smile and given them an answer that I knew they would, at the very least, agree with. “I’m just slow, I guess.”

  Impatience and irritation had been brimming in Dad’s eyes, also nothing new. “Isn’t that the truth,” he’d murmured. His eyes narrowed as he examined me. He’d wanted me to dress nicely for the new arrival, and I think he’d been expecting a suit and tie. Fat chance. I’d been wearing frayed jeans, sneakers, and a T-shirt from a local bar.

  Catching me off guard, Dad had reached up and snatched a handful of my hair. He fisted his hand close to my scalp, stinging me with pinpricks of pain. Knowing any movement was going to make it even more unpleasant, I’d held very still. Yanking on my hair, Dad had jerked my head back and snarled, “I told you to cut this crap off. You look like a no-good degenerate. I’m going to buzz you in your sleep one day.” Mom and Dad had always hated my shaggy, unkempt style. Maybe that was why I’d kept it for so long.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I had watched the dark-haired stranger taking in what was happening with wide, shocked eyes. By the way he glanced between my dad and me, uneasily shifting his weight back and forth, it was pretty obvious that he was uncomfortable witnessing the confrontation. I didn’t blame him. It wasn’t exactly a great welcome-to-the-neighborhood moment.

  Through clenched teeth, I’d asked my dad, “You gonna introduce me to our guest, or are you gonna try and scalp me with your bare hands?”

  Dad had snapped his gaze to the stranger among us and immediately dropped his hold on me. Mom, in all her maternal glory, had let out a beleaguered sigh. “Don’t be so dramatic, Kellan. It’s not like he hurt you by ‘touching’ your hair.” From her tone of voice, it had sounded like Dad was only playfully ruffling my hair. Strangely enough though, her words had made me feel like I was overreacting.

  Puffing his chest out, Dad finally introduced us. “Kellan, this is Denny Harris. He’s joining us all the way from Australia. Denny, this is Kellan…my son.” That last part had been added with clear reluctance.

  With an affable smile, Denny had stuck his hand out. “Nice to meet you.”

  Touched by his sincerity, I grabbed his hand and said, “Nice to meet you too.”

  After that, Denny’s bags had been thrust into my face, and I’d been ordered to be the house butler while my parents showed him around. My parents expected obedience from me, so no kind words had followed their demand, but Denny had thanked me for my assistance as I’d taken his stuff. That had instantly made me like him. His simple gratitude was more heartwarming than anything Mom and Dad had ever said to me.

  My moment of warmth hadn’t lasted long though. The second Denny disappeared with Mom, Dad had grabbed my arm and sneered, “Don’t push me, Kellan. You need to be on your best behavior while Denny is here. I won’t put up with any of your crap. You step out of line, I’ll whoop you so hard, it’ll be a week before you can stand up straight. Two before you can sit properly. You understand me?”

  Dad had shoved his finger into my chest for an emphasis that I hadn’t needed. I’d understood him completely. Unlike some parents, Dad hadn’t been giving me an empty threat to keep me in line. No, he had meant every word he’d just said. He would ignore my cries and pleading for him to stop. He’d leave me raw, just on the verge of bleeding. Because he was in charge, and he wanted me to know that. I was nothing to him. Absolutely nothing.

  Reminding myself that my father’s threats didn’t matter anymore, I pushed the memory to the far recesses of my brain and focused on Denny. I was thrilled to be hearing from my old friend. It had been ages since we’d last talked. That was unfortunate, since he was living stateside again and keeping in contact should have theoretically been easier now. Denny was frequently in my thoughts though, and I often wondered how he was doing with college.

  Denny chuckled. “Yeah, it’s me. Long time, no hear, huh, mate?”

  My smile grew. “Yeah, way too long. I think we’re due for a reunion.”

  “Well, actually…that’s kind of why I was calling. I’m moving out to Seattle when I graduate in a couple of weeks, and I was hoping you knew of a place I could stay. Well, a place my girlfriend and I could stay. Preferably someplace that’s not too expensive. Things are kind of tight right now.”

  I blinked in disbelief. He was moving back here? For good? Excitement danced up my spine. I couldn’t wait to see him again. “You’re coming here? Seriously? That’s great, man. And your timing is perfect! I have a room free. Fully furnished too, since my last roommate left a lot of her stuff. I’ll rent it to you for whatever you can afford.” I would have told him he could stay for free, but Denny wasn’t one for handouts, and I knew he’d never accept that offer. This offer though, there was no way he could say no.

  There was a pause on the other end that dampened my spirits some. Hadn’t I just told him great news? Shouldn’t he be ecstatic? “Denny, did you hear me?”

  “Ah, yeah, I just hadn’t expected…You sure you’re okay with us staying with you?” His accent thickened with what sounded like concern. Was he concerned for me? Did he feel like he was imposing? That couldn’t be farther from the truth.

  I tried to reassure him with my tone and my words. “Of course, man, why wouldn’t I be? I’m stoked about this. Aren’t you?”

  Another oddly long pause met my ear, then a heavy sigh. “Yeah, yeah I am. This will be
great. And Kiera and I won’t be any problem for you, I promise.”

  A soft laugh escaped me. Denny was never a problem. He was the easiest person in the world to get along with. In fact, I couldn’t think of one person who didn’t like him. “Don’t even worry about it. My place is your place.” After a pause, I teasingly added, “So, you finally got yourself a girl, huh?”

  Denny had infamously refused every girl’s advances in high school. He’d said he hadn’t wanted to get involved with someone when he knew he wasn’t going to be around long. His constant refusal to date had sort of been a longstanding joke between us. But I thought it was great that Denny had finally found a girl to commit to. The odds were good that he was no longer the virgin he’d been in high school. Good job, mate.

  “Kiera, was it?” I asked. “What’s she like?”

  I swear his laugh was strained, like he was suddenly nervous. “She’s…she’s great. The love of my life. I don’t know what I would do without her.”

  He stressed the words, like he was warning me about something. I furrowed my brow, not understanding. Shaking my head, I decided I was just misreading him. It had been a long time since we’d spoken, after all. There was bound to be some awkwardness until we got caught up with each other. “Well, good. I’m glad to hear it. You deserve happiness.”

  After another pause, Denny softly told me, “So do you, Kellan.” An uncomfortable feeling settled over me as his words brought the silence of this house crashing down around me. He’d said something similar when he’d left to go back home when we were teenagers.

  “Um, thanks,” I whispered, incapable of saying more.

  Denny cleared his throat like he was wiping away the past. “No worries. I’ll call you again when it’s closer to our time to leave. And…thank you, Kellan. This means a lot to me.”

  “You’re welcome.” It means a lot to me too.

  When I set the phone back in the cradle, a feeling of rightness flooded into me. Denny was coming back. I honestly never thought he’d return. It had never even occurred to me that he might. Even though Denny and I had only lived together for a year, he felt like family to me. A brother.

  He’d ended up somewhat saving me that summer, when I had unintentionally pushed my father too far. Dad had been reining in his temper whenever Denny was around, but anger management had never been one of his strong points.

  “Kellan, get your ass in here!”

  Wondering what I had done to make my dad sound so incensed, I’d swallowed a deep breath and hesitated. I hadn’t wanted to join him in the kitchen. I’d sort of wanted to run. But Denny had put a calming hand on my shoulder and said, “I’ll go with you, mate.” That had made me relax. If Denny was with me, Dad probably wouldn’t do anything other than yell, and I could handle that.

  Putting on a brave face even though my insides were twisting, I’d stepped into the kitchen with Denny just a few steps behind me. Either Dad hadn’t known Denny was with me, or he’d been too worked up to care. Grabbing my shoulders, he’d jerked me into him, shifted direction, then shoved me into the wall. The sudden movement had caught me off guard, and I’d smacked my skull against the plaster.

  My vision had hazed as a jolt of pain wrapped around my head. In case Dad wasn’t done with me, I’d instinctively raised my hands. He’d only yelled though. “I told you to make sure the lids on the garbage were tight! You did a half-ass job, and now there is garbage strewn all over the backyard! Go fix it. Now!”

  I remembered my anger that that was what he’d been mad about. The fucking garbage? It still incensed me.

  Denny had stepped to my side then. “We’ll go clean it up together, Mr. Kyle.”

  Stepping forward, I’d put a hand on Denny’s shoulder to silence him. I hadn’t been sure how worked up Dad was, and Denny didn’t deserve any of his wrath. Not wanting him to become a part of our argument, I had shaken my head and told him, “No, you go upstairs. I got this.”

  Impatient, Dad had shoved my shoulder back. I’d lost my balance, stumbled, and fallen on my ass. My wrist had wrenched as I’d landed on it, and I remember gasping in pain. Dad hadn’t cared. Glaring down at me, he’d snipped, “Quit wasting time and go clean up that mess you made before the neighbors see the pigsty you’ve let our house become.”

  Irritated and hurt, I’d barked something at him that I never should have. “If you’d leave me the hell alone, I could go fix your precious fucking lawn!”

  All the blood had drained from my face the second I’d realized I’d said that out loud. I’d talked back to Dad, and I’d sworn. Staring up at my father, I clearly saw the restraint slipping away from him, and I had known, without a doubt, that Denny being a witness didn’t matter anymore. My insolence had gone too far, and Dad was going to do his worst.

  While I had gingerly risen to my feet, Dad had balled his hands into fists. I recalled closing my eyes, knowing what was coming. Go ahead, Dad. I’m ready echoed through my memories. Surprisingly, it had been Denny’s voice that had interrupted the ominous silence. “No, wait—”

  There was a sickening crunch, then Denny’s body had collided with mine. I’d recovered in time to catch him as he’d started to fall, and when he’d looked up at me, there had been blood trickling down his split lip. He’d stepped in front of the hit for me, taken my pain. Dazed and disoriented, I had helped Denny sit on the floor, then squatted beside him.

  Dad had just stood there, staring at us like we’d both spontaneously combusted. Then he’d shifted his gaze to his hands and murmured, “Jesus.” Without another word to us, he’d darted out of the kitchen like he was fleeing a crime scene.

  I remembered shivering as I’d squatted beside Denny. I’d been so sure that Dad was going to turn on me after hitting Denny, punish me for unintentionally cracking the façade. At the time, I had been positive that he still would, once I was alone. That was when Denny had put his hand on my knee and said, “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

  When I had looked over at him, his lip had been bloody and swollen, but he hadn’t seemed the least bit afraid as he met my eye. Shaking his head, he’d soothingly repeated, “It’s okay.”

  Scared, I’d started shaking my head like I had a nervous tic. My entire body was vibrating, like I was suffering from hypothermia. I couldn’t calm down. I was certain my dad would never let it go. He would get me. He would teach me a lesson. He would make me suffer.

  Sitting up a little straighter, Denny had put a comforting hand on my shoulder and spoken words that no one had spoken to me before. “Everything is going to be okay. I’m here for you, Kellan. I’ll always be here for you.”

  My fear had started diminishing as I stared into his calm eyes. He had seemed so sure…It had given me hope. And he’d been right. My dad had been so afraid of Denny telling someone what he’d done that he hadn’t laid a hand on me for the rest of the time Denny had stayed with us. It had been the best year of my life.

  Waiting for Denny and his girlfriend to get here was a painstaking exercise in the art of patience. I tried to let time flow as naturally as possible, but there were moments when I literally stared at the clock and willed the hours to surge forward. But nothing helped, and every day seemed to be more sluggish than the last. I thought the anticipation of his arrival would make a blood vessel burst in my brain before he got here. Wouldn’t that be poetic?

  I was really excited for Denny to hear my band. That was probably because he was the reason I’d started a band in the first place. Normally, my parents never would have agreed to let me do something like that, but after Dad had inadvertently slugged Denny, he was a lot more agreeable; in an effort to keep Denny happy so he’d keep quiet, I don’t think there was anything Dad would have denied him.

  Denny had always been fascinated by my ability to play and sing, and he’d always pushed me to use it. “You have God-given talent,” he’d say. “Not doing anything with it would be a waste.” When he’d found out that our school was having local bands play junior prom instead
of hiring a DJ, he’d urged me to put a group together, and had even cleared it with my father.

  Not only had Denny been a bright spot in my past, he had unknowingly given direction to my otherwise meaningless life. He’d set the mold for my future, and I would do just about anything to return the favor.

  I was whistling when I walked into Pete’s that Friday night. Jenny gave me a look that clearly said, What’s with all the joy? I shrugged. “It’s Friday. TGIF.”

  Jenny laughed at my answer, her blond ponytail bouncing around her shoulders. Leaving her, I walked over to Sam, the bouncer at the bar. Stretching out my hand, I showed him my spare house key. His brows bunched together and his lips compressed. “We moving in together? You’re great and all, Kellan, but I like living on my own.” His voice was deep, husky, and perfectly matched his absurdly large muscles. I swear the man’s biceps were as large as my skull, and I wasn’t sure how it was physically possible, but he had no neck whatsoever.

  Chuckling, I shook my head. “Denny’s coming in tonight. I’ll probably be onstage. Will you give him this for me?” Denny and Sam had been in the same grade during high school, and the three of us had hung out a lot while Denny had been here. As soon as Denny had called me about a room, I’d told Sam.

  His huge fist closed around the shiny metal. “Sure thing,” he gruffed, shoving the key into his pocket.

  “Thanks!” Clapping him on the shoulder, I turned and headed toward my table.

  Evan and Matt were already there. Griffin was having a conversation with Traci near the bar. And by conversation, I mean Traci was rapidly telling him something while he blinked with a dumbfounded, confused expression on his face. Matt watched Griffin with a smirk on his lips while Evan cuddled with Brooke. I guess she’d said yes when he asked her out. Well good, that should make him happy for a bit.