Effortless Page 6

Chapter 6

 

  Time Flies

  You are told from the moment you enter school that time is constant. It never changes. It is one of those set things in life that you can always rely on. . . much like death and taxes. There will always be sixty seconds in a minute. There will always be sixty minutes in an hour. And there will always be twenty-four hours in a day. Time was not fluctuating. It moved on at the same, constant pace at every moment in your life.

  And that was the biggest load of crap that I'd ever been taught in school.

  Truth was, time did fluctuate. It was easy to lose hours or even days in a blink of an eye. Other times, it was a struggle to get through a mere hour. It ebbed and flowed as relentlessly as the tides, and just as powerfully too. The moments that you wanted to last forever were the ones that were washed away all too soon. The moments that you wanted to speed up, were slowed down to a snail's pace.

  That was the truth of the matter. And my life. . . was flash-forwarding, and there was nothing I could do about it.

  It seemed only yesterday that Kellan had reluctantly agreed to go off and tour the continent, but, all of a sudden, his departure was only a few days away. It was Monday morning. . . he was leaving first thing Saturday. And as much as the last few weeks had rushed by, I knew that the universe would cruelly make the next six months drag on and on. I knew that I would feel every second of our separation and it was going to suck. . . but I had to let it happen. I would not selfishly guilt another man to give it all up for me. I would never do that to someone again. . . . no matter how much it hurt.

  Hearing the door to my apartment being knocked on, I snapped myself out of my thoughts and slapped on a smile. Kellan was having a hard time with the upcoming separation too. I didn't want to make it harder for him by seeming down all the time. Over the last few weeks I'd perfected the art of feigned excitement. Not that I wasn't excited for him, and endlessly proud of him, I just didn't want him to go. If he could somehow have it all, but stay close to my side, well, then my forced smile would be a natural one.

  Walking past a folding card table, a wobbly contraption that my sister and I were calling a fancy dining table, even going so far as to classy it up with a thrift store tablecloth, I smiled at the present sitting on top of it. When I opened the front door, Kellan was leaning against the frame. He smiled crookedly at me. I bit my lip as I absorbed his features, then stepped back so he could enter.

  Stepping through, he murmured, "Mornin'. "

  Attaching his lips to my neck, he swung me around and pulled my hips into his. Lightly closing the door behind him, I giggled quietly; my sister was still asleep. "Good morning, yourself. "

  Sighing, he slinked his arms around my waist. "I'm going to miss taking you to school every day," he sighed. Shaking his head, he added, "You'll nearly be graduating by the time I'm back. "

  Stepping up my smile, even though my heart was breaking, I tilted my head at him and stroked his cheek. "At least you'll be back in time for the ceremony. You can watch me walk down the aisle. "

  Smiling softly, he cinched me a little tighter. "I'd love to watch you walk down the aisle. "

  My heart starting to race a little, I suddenly wondered just what aisle he was referring to. I opened my mouth, not sure what to say, but Kellan looked over his shoulder and noticed the bright red gift bag. His expression genuinely gleeful, he looked back to me. "What's that?"

  Releasing him, I giggled again. "It's for you. Sort of a going away present. "

  Frowning, he shook his head at me. "I know money is tight for you. You didn't have to get me anything. "

  Pressing myself against his back, I shoved his shoulders towards the table. "I got a good deal, it didn't cost me much and it's sort of a present for both of us. "

  Slowly walking towards the gift, he turned his head back to me and grinned devilishly. "Is it handcuffs? Did you get the furry kind? Because those feel really nice against your-"

  I smacked his back and turned his head away from me, so that he couldn't see the blush spreading over my cheeks. "No!" I felt him chuckling as he picked up his gift, but my head was busy imagining him locked to my bed. . . naked. I guess that would be one way to keep him near me. Rolling my eyes, I contained a sigh. And of course he'd had enough experience with handcuffs that he had a style preference.

  Still laughing a little, he pulled the tissues out of the bag. When he got to the actual present, he pulled it out and looked back at me, confused. "What's this?"

  Now I laughed as I moved around to stand beside him. "Well, I know you're a little behind on the times, but they call that a cell phone. It works just like your corded one. . . but you can walk around with it. " Leaning in, I whispered, "You can even use it outside. "

  Giving me a dry look, he shook his head. "I know what it is. . . what's it for?"

  Smiling, I pulled a matching one out of my jacket pocket slung over a nearby chair. "It's so we can keep in touch while you're gone. So you can always get a hold of me, and I can get a hold of you. " I shrugged, feeling my throat starting to close up. "So we can try and stay close. . . even though we'll be really far apart. "

  I watched his eyes search mine as he swallowed a few times, like his throat was closing up a little too. Nodding, he leaned in and kissed me. "I love it, thank you. "

  I closed my eyes as we kissed a few times, savoring every second that his skin was on mine. Pulling back from me, his breath a little heavier, his eyes slightly hooded, his gaze focused on my mouth. I got the distinct impression that if he didn't have to take me to school in a few minutes, he would have swept me up and taken me to my bedroom. And even though I knew school was important and I needed to focus on my final year, I wanted him to.

  His eyes flashing up to mine, he gave me a breathtaking grin. "Can I sext you on it?"

  I blinked at his question then felt my cheeks flame red hot again. Not giving him an answer, I smacked his shoulder and grabbed my jacket. Just as he was chuckling, tucking his new phone away in his leather jacket pocket, I heard a bedroom door open. Kellan turned towards the sound, ready to greet Anna, but who stepped out of the door was not my sister. They also were not dressed.

  Scratching his freely swinging man parts, Griffin yawned and squinted at us. "Dude, what are doing here so early?"

  I immediately looked away from the bare naked man. Kellan smirked and shook his head. "It's ten thirty, Griffin. "

  I heard Griffin snort but didn't look back at him. "I know, man, it's fucking earlier than shit. " Kellan looked down on me and rolled his eyes. Anything before eleven was practically the crack of dawn for Griffin. I wanted to roll my eyes as well, but I heard Griffin coming closer to us. I froze. I seriously wanted to scream at him to get some clothes on.

  Yawning again, Griffin lazily said, "Hey, Matt wanted me to tell you that if you miss another rehearsal, he's tossing you from the band. "

  Kellan looked back up at Griffin and raised an eyebrow. "Really?" Laughing lightly, he shook his head. "Tell him I'll be there. " Looking down at me again, Kellan shrugged. "I guess my head has been other places lately. "

  I saw Griffin's hand come out to push back Kellan's shoulder, but I refused to look at the nudist. "Well zip your head back in your pants and get back in the game. We need you on board. "

  Sighing, Kellan looked up at him. "I'm on board, Griff. I'll be there, okay. "

  "You better. "

  Just as it sounded like Griffin was turning to leave, I watched Kellan shake his head, his lips twisting. "Hey, Griff? You mind not walking around my girlfriend's place buck naked? I'd really prefer her only staring at my junk, if you don't mind. "

  My eyes widening, I inadvertently looked back at Griffin. Smirking at me, he took himself in hand. "Dude, if she's peeking at another man's schlong, then that's between the two of you. " Raising his eyebrows at Kellan, he shook his blond head. "The Hulk needs to breathe. "

  Kellan bit his lip, struggling to not laugh.
I had no such luck with my control and had to slap a hand over my mouth. Griffin glared at both of us, then sauntered back to Anna's room. Once the door was closed again, Kellan burst out laughing. I joined him, the tears springing into my eyes gladly obscuring the afterimage of Griffin's pierced manhood.

  Between giggles, I managed to laugh out, "The Hulk? Does it turn green when it grows?"

  Holding in his stomach, Kellan shook his head. "Oh God, I hope not. Come on, let's get out of here before we find out. "

  Grabbing my book bag, we hastily escaped from where we could hear Griffin start to wake up Anna. Once in the hall, our laughter slowly subsided. When I could breathe without giggling, I smiled over at Kellan. "Thank you for trying. Seeing Griffin in all his glory. . . will be one of the things that I definitely won't miss. "

  Slinging his arm over my shoulders, Kellan shook his head. Still laughing over his ass of a band mate, he said, "I wish I could say the same, but the green mutant's coming with me. "

  Laughing a little myself, I raised an eyebrow at him. "You have any. . . nicknames?"

  Kellan gave me a charmingly crooked smile. "None that I've given myself, but from what I've heard said in the bedroom, it would probably be something like, 'The Oh-God-yes-harder-faster-don't-you-dare-stop-yes-fuck-me-now-you're-freaking-amazing Machine'. " He shrugged. "But that's kind of a mouthful. "

  Frowning, I elbowed him in the stomach and shrugged his arm off of me. Sometimes he could be just as much of a jackass as Griffin. . . almost, anyway. Laughing, he came up behind me and spun me around. As I squealed in protest, he lifted me up over his shoulder and smacked my bottom. "I'm just joking. Come on, let's get you to class. " As I squirmed against him, he added, "Maybe while you're learning, I'll go get some of those handcuffs. . . then you can give me a better nickname. "

  I stiffened in his arms, wondering if he was serious about that; his only response was to laugh.

  After depositing me at my place of higher learning, Kellan went off to go do. . . whatever he did while I was in school. Maybe think of new ways to mortify me. Hopefully he really was joking about the handcuffs.

  Over the past weeks I'd gotten to know some of the other graduating English majors and I met up with a few of them before my Critical Practice class. It was an intense course and we'd all agreed to meet early and study for an hour before we went in. Sitting in a group of six or seven like-minded individuals, contemplating the importance of interpretive practices when studying literature and culture, I felt more like my own person, with my own hopes and dreams, and less like one of Kellan's entourage. It made me feel whole, complete, and made the process of him leaving slightly less nerve-wracking. Slightly. . . I still wasn't ready for that day to come.

  The nearly two hour course was a brain burner, and by the time it was over, I was grateful for my slightly easier ethics class. Even if ethics brought Candy. . . and not the apple-flavored kind. Gritting my teeth, I did what I did nearly every day when I walked into the classroom-I ignored her and her friends. It was fairly easy to do since she'd started ignoring me too. After her failed attempt to make me jealous enough to break up with Kellan, she seemed to give up on it. Either that or she was busy plotting and scheming a more masterful plan than merely spreading gossip. I liked to believe the woman had more important things to do with her time, though.

  Quickly absorbed in the lecture, I forgot about all about Candy sitting a few rows in front of me with her friends. Once the class was over, I grabbed up all of my stuff and went over the paper I was going to write tonight during slow times on my shift. The teacher was having us do a paper on the ethical responsibility of various websites. I was thinking of doing mine on a popular medical advice site, showing the importance of giving potential patients the correct information.

  Already outlining my debate in my head, I bumped into Kellan in the hallway. Grabbing my shoulders, he held me in place in front of him. Lost in thought, I blinked at him stupidly for a second before smiling and engulfing him in a hug. "Hey, you're picking me up inside. "

  Laughing at my obvious comment, he scruffed up his hair with his hand. "Yeah, it's pouring out there. I thought I'd go for a swim instead of waiting in my car. " I cringed away from the water droplets flicking me and he laughed a little more.

  Looping my arm through his, I smiled and leaned into his side. "Well, I'm glad you did. I can run my idea for a paper by you. . . even though you'll probably have no idea what I'm talking about. " I smiled, knowing that Kellan rarely went near a computer, let alone searched the internet.

  He grinned as we started walking away. "Hit me. "

  Just as I began my speech, I was jostled so harshly that I was knocked a step away from Kellan. Frowning, I glanced over at the rude person who thought they ruled the hallway. Flaming red curls met my eye as Candy snidely glared back at me. Sighing, I rolled my eyes and reattached myself to Kellan. He didn't let me, though. His eyes narrowing at her, he mumbled, "Stay here a second," then strode over to where she was eyeing him with pleasantly curled lips.

  Irritated, but curious too, I stopped where he'd asked and watched him approach her and her friends. Tina and Genevieve looked about ready to faint as he stepped up to them. I figured it was the closest they'd ever actually been to him. Kellan, however, looked about ready to rip somebody's head off. Glaring at the trio, he finally rested his eyes on Candy. She backed up a step as his dark expression settled on her.

  Grabbing her arm, he leaned into her face, whispering something heatedly. I didn't know what he was saying, but Candy's eyes widened. Shaking her head, she started muttering something and pointed at Tina. Tina put her hands in the air and started sputtering something too when Kellan's glare swung around to her. Releasing Candy's arm, Kellan said something to the three of them that had them quickly nodding and scurrying off.

  Straightening as they left, Kellan turned and faced me with a perfectly normal smile, like nothing odd had just happened. He walked back to me and grabbed my hand. He started pulling me towards the doors, whistling as he did. Raising an eyebrow at him, I waited for an explanation. When he didn't give one, I cleared my throat. Looking down on me, he shrugged. "What?"

  Pointing to the doors we were approaching, the window wet from the downpour he'd mentioned, I indicated where Candy had fled. "What was that all about?"

  Smiling charmingly, he shrugged. "I just let them know that it wouldn't be prudent for them to spread anymore lies about me, and suggested that they leave you alone. "

  Grinning, he opened the door for me and moved aside so I could step through. Narrowing my eyes at him, I prepared to step past him into the downpour. They'd seemed pretty startled by whatever he'd said, so my mind was running over a list of threats that he could have used. I'd seen Kellan's anger several times before and he could be intimidating when he wanted to be. I figured they really would leave me alone for the remainder of the school year.

  Smiling, I leaned in and kissed him. "Did they happen to mention how they saw your tattoo?"

  Rolling his eyes as he held the door open, he shook his head. "Tina saw me working out in the park near here. I got hot, I was shirtless. "

  Biting my lip, I glanced down his body. Yes, he was certainly hot. I supposed that explained the story. I watched his face for a minute, gauging the truth I saw in his eyes as he held my gaze steadfastly. I saw no deception there and smiled wider. Raising a corner of his lip, he indicated outside. "Are you gonna head out there, cuz this door's getting heavy. "

  Laughing, I kissed him lightly and then sucked in a quick breath, preparing to make a run for it. Halfway down the steps, I felt like a waterlogged rat. Groaning, I dashed for the parking lot and wished I'd brought an umbrella.

  Coming up behind me, Kellan smacked my bottom. "Hurry up, pokey, you're getting soaked. " Laughing, he ran his fingers back through his hair. The mess slicked back in a way that reminded me of a less pleasant moment in the rain with Kellan. I pushed aside the memory and focused
on his body twisting away from me and running hard.

  Adjusting my bag, I yelled out, "No fair! You're not carrying anything. "

  He only looked back at me and chuckled. By the time I got to the lot, he was already in his car, feet propped up on my side of the seat and leaning his back against the driver's side door with his eyes closed, like he'd fallen asleep waiting for me. I batted his shoes as I stood in the rain, but he ignored it, and continued to take up my spot. Cursing that I was still getting soaked, I crawled over his legs to lie on top of him. That got his attention.

  His eyes opened with a wide smile. Twisting my body to shut the door, I unhooked my book bag and tossed it into the back seat. His arms came out for me, pulling my soaked body into his soaked body. Scooting down the seat, he laid his back against the cushion. He adjusted my legs so my hips were straddling his.

  "There, that's better," he muttered, lifting his head up to kiss me.

  Assaulted by more wet memories of him, I pulled back. His eyes were lustful as he stared at me, his breath heavier, and not just from the exertion of running all the way out here. My wet hair hung down around my face, the long strands dripping onto his clothes. The scent of him beneath me mixed with the smell of clean water, both of them stirring something within me.

  Cupping his cheek, I stroked his rain-softened skin with my thumb. Looking over his midnight blue eyes, the specks of water glistening in his hair, the full, partly opened lips, the strong jaw, I sighed. "You're so attractive," I whispered, my words oddly in tune to the pounding rain in the background. "You're the sexiest man I've ever seen. "

  Feeling completely alone with him in here, even though it was the middle of the afternoon, I leaned down to kiss him. His soft lips melded with mine, tasting, searching. After a brief moment, he frowned and shook his head. "I may not always be. " Shrugging, one hand clenching and unclenching my hip while the other indicated his face, he added, "This could vanish overnight, you know. I could be mauled by a bear while walking down the street tomorrow. " He lifted an eyebrow. "Would you still want me then?"

  Smiling at his comment, I tilted my head. "Of course. Your face isn't the only thing that makes you attractive, Kellan. Your looks aren't why I love you. " He smiled, his hands running up my back, urging me down to him. Before our lips met again, I gave him a pointed glance. "A bear? Really?"

  Chuckling, he pulled me all of the way down to him. As our hips met, rocking lightly against the other's, the windshield quickly fogged up. I felt bodies hurriedly walking past the car, but with the noise of the rain and the windows tinted with moisture, I felt like we were the only two people around. As our breaths and kiss heated, Kellan murmured, "God, now I'm going to have to do something I never thought I would. "

  Moving up to kiss his cheek, I dug my hips into his. "What?" I breathed, the tip of my tongue lining the edge of his ear.

  He sucked in a quick breath, his hips under me rising off the seat. "I'm going to have to take you in this car," he murmured back, his voice low and husky.

  He was suddenly moving underneath me, trying to twist us around so he was on top. I quickly sat up before he was successful. While I felt alone out here, I knew we weren't, and I wasn't about to advertise what we were doing by rocking the car. He sat up on his elbows, breathless. Splaying out his hands, he frowned. "Why did you stop?"

  Biting my lip and carefully moving away from his hips, I pushed his feet off the seat so I could sit comfortably. Pointing at him as menacingly as I could, I sternly said, "Because you have a rehearsal to get to, and if you blow it off again, Matt is going to kick you out of the band. "

  Sitting up, he wrapped his arms around me. "It's my band, they can't kick me out. "

  He started kissing my neck and I tried not to lean into it, tried not to start panting with desire and clawing at his clothes. Pushing him back, I dug my finger into his chest. "I'm not having sex with you in the parking lot of my school. "

  He glanced around, his eyes playful. "No one will notice. " Looking back at me, he raised an eyebrow. "Have you ever had sex in a car?"

  Blushing horribly, I tucked my hair behind my ears. "Yes, Denny and I. . . "

  I didn't finish that and Kellan's playful grin faded. Releasing me, he scooted over to his side of the seat and nodded. "Oh, yeah. . . your road trip. " Sighing, he dug his hand in his pocket and took out his keys.

  I tilted my head to see his face better, to see if he was upset or not, but I couldn't tell from the angle. "Hey, you alright?"

  Smiling, he looked back at me as the car roared to life. "Yeah. " He shrugged, then grinning mischievously, he smirked. "I was just hoping to give you another first experience. " I watched his smile falter as he turned away from me. "I guess I missed my shot, though. "

  Placing my hand on his thigh, I whispered, "There will be other firsts that you can give me, Kellan. "

  Looking back at me as he put the car in reverse, he shook his head. "I know, Kiera. "

  Wishing I could rewind time and not bring up an intimate moment with my ex to my current, I looked out the passenger's side window as we drove to Kellan's rehearsal. The guys generally met once a day to create new stuff or work out kinks in older stuff. Since it was how they made their living, they were all surprisingly dedicated to it. Well, except lately. Lately, Kellan had been blowing off rehearsals to spend some more time with me. Matt had been in a snit about it. Even though technically Kellan was right, and it was his band since he'd created it, Matt was the one that led it. He lined up the shows, he worked on marketing, he arranged rehearsals, and he demanded professionalism from the quartet of easily distracted twenty-somethings. The band was Matt's baby.

  Heading over the bridge connecting the U-District to the heart of Seattle, I watched the towering Space Needle fill my window. It was beautiful, iconic, and held a soft spot for me. Kellan had poured his heart out to me inside it. He'd opened up in ways he'd never opened up to anyone, ever. It made me incredibly sad that Kellan's life could have been so different, if he'd just told someone about the abuse as a child. He could have been taken away, put in a loving foster home. Anything would have been preferable to his nightmare.

  Looking back at him, I put my hand over his knee. He smiled at the contact, quickly glancing at me before shifting his eyes back to the road. A small, dark part of me wondered if Kellan had only been attracted to me, stayed with me, fell in love with me, because his messed up psyche craved the pain I'd given him. Maybe he had a masochistic streak. If so, I'd certainly stoked it. . . over and over again. It truly was a miracle he'd ever taken me back.

  Sighing, I leaned over and put my head on his shoulder. He relaxed his head against mine, his hand coming out to rest on my thigh. As the Needle left my vision-tall skyscrapers holding thousands of businessmen and women trailing along after it-we approached the industrial district. This is where Evan had his loft. It made a perfect spot to play, since he didn't live in a residential area like Kellan and the others. The very few neighbors that he did have, didn't seem to mind the noise, so long as the guys didn't play too late into the evening.

  Driving past the two sports stadiums, Kellan came upon Evan's place. Kellan shut off the car and opened his door. He grabbed his guitar out of the back seat as I got out and waited for him near the front of the vehicle. Thankfully the earlier squall had passed, and only the normal, light drops splashed onto our still damp bodies. When Kellan stepped beside me, his hair still attractively slicked back from the rain, he smiled and nodded over to the stairs that led up to the loft.

  Evan lived above an auto body shop. The mechanics all loved it when the boys practiced during their shift. Sometimes they even asked the guys to leave the door open, so the sound would come down clearer. And if the guys were getting together early enough in the afternoon, sometimes they would. One of the shop employees had told me once that listening to the band through the walls made going to work feel like going to a rock concert. I understood the sentiment; they constan
tly made my job feel that way.

  One of the garage doors was open as we walked by. A man was helping to guide another person, who was backing a car out of the door, so the driver didn't accidentally back over the massive hole in the ground where the mechanics checked out the underside of the cars. Once the car was free, the man smiled and waved at Kellan.

  "Where you been, man? Matt's gonna evict you. "

  Kellan rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Yeah, that's what I hear. "

  The man laughed while a grease-smeared woman got out of the car she'd just parked alongside the curb. She walked up to Kellan and bumped his shoulder with her fist. "Knock 'em dead on tour, Kell. " She sighed dramatically while I glanced up at the rain falling on us. Maybe the woman could flirt with my man inside. . . where it was dryer. Shaking her shaggy crop of dark hair, she frowned. "We're gonna miss you around here. It just won't be the same with Evan's place empty. "

  Kellan smiled back at her and I mentally frowned at the warmth I saw on his face. I knew Kellan had female friends, Jenny was one of them, but I instantly wondered how friendly this mechanic-girl had been with my boyfriend. I squeezed his hand tighter, subconsciously leaning into his side as he said, "I doubt that, Rox. You'll probably not even know we're gone. " Raising an eyebrow, Kellan leaned over to her. "Besides, it will finally be quiet enough around here for you to work on that book. "

  She laughed, her face brightening and I hated even more that not only were they friendly, but they knew things about each other. They even shortened the other's names. The familiarity bothered me and a rush of jealousy threatened to sweep me away. I was already struggling to not push the woman back and step in front of Kellan, growling possessively. I wouldn't ever actually do that. . . but I was thinking it.

  Finally, someone inside whistled for the two mechanics chatting with us to get back to work. They did so reluctantly, and Kellan waved goodbye. Rox, Roxie or Roxanne, whatever her full name was, looked back at Kellan before disappearing. She had an interested expression that I'd seen way too often. And she hadn't even looked at me, like I was inconsequential. I wanted to sneer at her retreating form, maybe stick my tongue out and say, "neiner-neiner," but I wouldn't stoop to five-year-old behavior. Yet.

  Pushing aside yet another woman wanting him, I followed him up the stairs to Evan's. Kellan barged right through when we got to the door, feeling just at home here as he did at his own place. Matt's eyes were on us the second we stepped through the door.

  "Bout freaking time!" Matt glared at Kellan, and Rachel leaned over and whispered something in his ear. His features calmed and he relaxed a little, smiling over at where she stood by his side.

  I waved at Rachel, the shy, exotic beauty, then waved behind her at Jenny sitting on Evan's lap behind his drum set. The two of them were banging out some rhythm, Jenny giggling as Evan nuzzled her neck.

  Closing the door behind us, Kellan grimaced when he met Matt's eye. "Sorry. . . things have been coming up. "

  Kellan walked us into the room. Being at Evan's loft was almost like being at a smaller version of Pete's. There was a tiny kitchen, a living room with one couch facing a TV, and a rumpled bed in the far corner, a dresser and nightstand beside it. The rest of the place was a stage. The guys kept their equipment here between shows. Except the stuff they kept at Pete's, of course. Aside from Kellan's guitar, which he chose to lug around from place to place, the guys kept a second set of instruments at Pete's on a daily basis. It was well known in the bar that touching their stuff on stage resulted in immediate eviction from the premises.

  Here at Evan's, they had the sound equipment, Evan's full drum set, Griffin's bass guitar, and Matt's guitar. With all of their instruments currently waiting for them beside plugged-in microphones, they just needed some spot lights and a couple of bouncers, and they could do a professional show from here. They were even working on enclosing the instruments with soundproof walls, so they could record themselves and release an album. They had the walls constructed, but not assembled; they were leaning uselessly against the wall behind Evan's drums. I knew Matt really wanted to finish the project, but Bumbershoot, and now the tour, had put it on hold. I was pretty sure when they came back, it would be a top priority.

  Kellan set his guitar case on a kitchen counter, propping it open. I smiled at a picture of the two of us tucked away inside the lining. As he pulled out his most prized possession, aside from his car, Griffin walked up and smacked him on the back. "Yeah, I know what's been. . . up. "

  Twisting to face me, Griffin's eyes locked straight onto my hips. It was horrid, having him stare at me like that, knowing that in his mind. . . right now. . . we were having sex. With my hands, I hid as much of my body as I could; his smile widened.

  Finally noticing that Griffin was mentally assaulting me, Kellan frowned and smacked him across the back of the head. "Don't eye-fuck my girlfriend, Griffin. "

  Sniffing indignantly, Griffin shrugged. "What? A fella can't daydream anymore?" Kellan rolled his eyes and walked away. Griffin turned backed to me, sneering devilishly as he pointed to his head and whispered, "Later. "

  I felt like taking a shower.

  Quickly turning my back on Griffin, I walked over to where Rachel and Jenny had gathered. Forming a sort of band-wives club, we kneeled on the couch and leaned over the back to cheer on our men from the front row of our very private concert. Watching Kellan converse with Matt and Evan, while Griffin picked up Matt's guitar and started rocking out like he was Slash, I sighed softly. I'd miss this when they were gone.

  Rachel and Jenny both sighed right after me. Looking over at the two of them, I watched them watch their men, their loves. Jenny had been tearful when I'd met up with her after the announcement that the band was going on tour. She was excited for Evan to go, but she didn't want to be apart from him, anymore than I wanted to be apart from Kellan. She didn't seem worried at all about Evan straying, though. Her confidence in his faithfulness was inspiring. I wished I shared that confidence. That was something I'd had with Denny. A nearly unbreakable faith that he'd never, ever cheat on me. It was a comfort that had somehow slipped away from me once I'd cheated on him. Now, I sort of felt like anybody could do anything to anyone. It was a horrible feeling to have.

  Rachel looked over at me, her deeply tanned skin looking a little pale "I can't believe they're leaving Saturday. " She shook her head and shrugged. "Where did the time go?"

  I sighed again, knowing I'd thought the exact same thing earlier. "I know. . . " I looked back to the guys. Kellan had slung his guitar across his chest and was nodding at Matt while Matt mimed guitar chords in the air. Evan watched the two, occasionally nodding. Griffin was tuning them all out, bowing to his imaginary crowd. Shaking my head, I muttered, "It seems like just yesterday that we watched them play Bumbershoot. "

  Jenny sighed, sitting back on her heels. "Matt's having a going away party at his place after their performance Friday night. " She sighed again, forlornly. "Their last performance. "

  I swallowed as I looked over at her. Her eyes were just as glassy as mine felt. It was so hard to let people live their dreams, especially when those dreams took them thousands of miles away. Nodding, I leaned over and hugged Jenny. She hugged me back, sniffling a little. Rachel's arms circled around the both of us and we had a moment of left-behind-girlfriend pity. It was interrupted by soft chuckling in front of us.

  As we broke apart, we all looked up at Kellan, smirking as he looked down at us. "Group cuddling. . . and I wasn't invited?" he asked, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

  Jenny and Rachel giggled and I smacked him in the stomach. Chuckling a little harder, he grabbed my hand and pulled me across the couch into his body. I squealed, but his lips came down to mine and I instantly stopped. Forgetting that everyone was around, I closed my eyes and tangled my fingers in his drying hair.

  Losing myself in the moment, I moaned a little when his tongue brushed against mine. Nervous giggles met my
ear, but I somehow didn't care. I only snapped out of it when I heard someone shout, "Hey? We playin'. . . or screwing the girls?"

  Kellan and I separated and both looked over at Griffin grinning mischievously. Grabbing his pants, Griffin shook his head. "I'm cool either way, I just need to know which instrument to pull out. "

  Kellan frowned and stood up straight. I flushed bright red and laid my head down on the couch. Jenny and Rachel laughed, Jenny's hand sympathetically patting my back. From above, I heard Griffin being hit hard. Smiling, I peeked my head up in time to see Griffin flip Kellan off with one hand while massaging his arm with the other. Kellan stifled a smile as he took his spot behind his microphone. Locking gazes with me, he waited while Evan tapped out an intro.

  Matt and Evan started the song perfectly, their instruments filling the space around us. The room vibrated with power and energy and I giggled, loving it. Kellan smiled, watching me enjoy what he also enjoyed. Griffin joined in a few beats later, Kellan joining the fray last. With all of their sounds mixing and surging perfectly, Kellan started to sing.

  He was perfect. He elongated words and phrases effortlessly. He sucked in quick breaths suggestively. His voice was clear, strong, pitch-perfect. . . amazing. I could listen to him sing all day long. If I had an iPod with him on it, it would be on endless repeat. The song was a newer one that they were putting together. It was nearly ready, and Matt wanted to include it on the tour. Their first performance of it would be Friday night, as sort of a thank you to the diehard fans that had stuck with them from the very beginning.

  Matt worked the rehearsals around everyone's schedules, so sometimes they played later in the evening, when I was working. But I always tried to make it when they were rehearsing before my shift. I just loved watching the creative process. I'd watched Kellan write the lyrics in his kitchen over coffee. I'd watched him and Evan and Matt shuffle through the melody at the bar. It was so amazing to me, to watch an idea in someone's head blossom into a powerful song of breaking through a crossroads and coming out the other side stronger. It was a beautiful piece. I liked to think that the song was somehow about us.

  When they got to the chorus, Kellan frowned and stopped singing mid-sentence. He looked over at Matt and eventually the other instruments died out, Griffin stopping last. Matt frowned and shook his head and Kellan pointed to his guitar. "What are you doing? That's the bridge, not the chorus. "

  Matt sighed and raised his hand into the air. "Dude, that's what I've been saying. You're so spacey lately. " He pointed back to Evan. "Since you've been missing rehearsals and leaving us without a singer, Evan and I have been tweaking the music. We flopped the two sections and it sounds about a million times better. " Frowning, he stuck his hand on his hip and shook his spiky head. "And you'd know that if you were around more. "

  Raising his hands submissively, Kellan backed off. "Fine, dang, just asking. " Looking between Evan and Matt, Kellan sighed. He quickly glanced at me before returning his eyes to Matt. "I'm sorry, okay, but I'm here now and I'm committed to this, so just. . . fill me in, alright?"

  Matt scrunched his lips together, but nodded. "Any other changes I should know about?" Kellan asked, shrugging.

  Matt started to shake his head, then tilted it to the side. "Oh, well, we added a solo for me before the last chorus. " He smiled, just slightly, and raised a pale eyebrow at Kellan.

  Kellan looked away, a small smile on his lips too. Chuckling a little, he shook his head. "I guess that's what I get for being a flake. " Settling his eyes on me, he smiled a little wider. "Worth it though," he muttered to me, then louder to the guys, "Okay, back to where we left off. "

  They finished the song with no more interruptions from Kellan, and Matt reveled in his new mini-solo while Kellan shook his head, amused. At the end of the song I had to agree with Matt, the changes were small, and someone not in the know probably wouldn't notice, but overall the song did sound better. They were going to rock Friday.

  When the guys were finished for the day, it was time for Jenny and me to start our shifts. The guys followed us over, eager to relax with a beer after their "hard" day at work. I had to roll my eyes as I handed it to them. Sometimes I got jealous over how easy their lifestyle was-drinking, partying and playing music all night, staying up late, being swarmed by fawning females-but I saw how seriously they took it, and knew how hard they worked behind the scenes to keep their success going.

  Truly, their job was probably as taxing as mine. At least mine had a definite ending time, theirs was sort of twenty-four seven. A fact that was reaffirmed for me when a couple of college girls got up the nerve to approach their table later in the evening. They chatted with the fans amicably. Kellan politely brushed off the blonde one's affections and shook his head when she nodded to the front doors and raised her eyebrows in a clearly sexual way.

  I frowned, watching the display and wanting to "accidentally" dump my tray on her. No, aspects of their job were never-ending. . . unfortunately.