Thoughtful Read online

  I could tell she just didn’t want to trouble me. It was no trouble though, and besides, I practically lived at Pete’s. Driving over there was no more trouble than walking to the fridge. “No problem. I’ll grab a beer, chat with Sam. I’ll be your first customer.”

  I gave her as charming a smile as I could, but she didn’t look heartened by my comment. If anything, she looked even more apprehensive. Walking into the living room, she told me, “Okay. Thanks.”

  She sat beside me on the couch and stared at the TV while she played with the zipper on her jacket. She reminded me of Denny, a bundle of nerves while she waited for her new situation. I’d been mindlessly watching some old sitcoms. Not really caring what was on the TV, I handed Kiera the remote. “Here, I wasn’t really watching anything.”

  “Oh, thanks.” She seemed touched by my gesture as she flipped through the channels.

  I wondered what she would stop on, and was mildly surprised when she paused on a scene with two people going at it. She asked me about the premium channels, like she wasn’t really aware of just what she’d stopped on. I contained my laughter as I waited for her to realize what she was seeing. I had a feeling she’d be embarrassed watching soft-core porn right next to an almost complete stranger.

  When Kiera finally caught on to what was playing, her cheeks flamed bright red and she fumbled the remote in her attempt to change the channel. She turned it back to my sitcoms and nearly tossed the remote at me in her haste. I managed to only lightly laugh at her, and I was pretty proud of myself for my restraint.

  When there was about twenty minutes left before her shift, I shut the TV off and asked her if she was ready to go. Even though she was a little green, she told me, “Sure.”

  I told her she’d be fine, then we grabbed our coats and headed out the door.

  While Kiera seemed to enjoy riding in my muscle car—and who wouldn’t?—she still looked like she was about to be sick; she stared out the window, taking deep breaths in through her nose and out through her mouth. I thought about pulling over and letting her get some air, but I figured just getting there and getting it over with would be the best thing for her nerves.

  I had the oddest desire to hold her hand when we arrived at Pete’s, just to be supportive and to help stop her racing mind, but it seemed inappropriate, so I didn’t. She stared at the building like the double doors were going to grow teeth and bite her. I wanted to reassure her again that everything would be fine, but I held my tongue. At some point, the encouragement might sound patronizing.

  When we stepped through the doors, Kiera unconsciously stepped toward me. For a moment, I thought she was going to clutch me like a lifeline. I’d have let her, even though that would have been just as inappropriate as holding hands. Whatever she needed to get through this. Jenny bounded our way though. With a bright smile on her lips, she stuck her hand out. “Kiera, right? I’m Jenny. I’ll get you situated.”

  With a wave to me, Jenny grabbed Kiera’s hand and started leading her to the back room. Kiera looked back at me with an expression that said both Help me and Thank you. It made me laugh. Rita instantly honed in on my humor. “Hey, sexy. I love hearing that chuckle. Almost as much as I love hearing other sounds you make.”

  Knowing what she meant, I raised a corner of my mouth. She bit her lip as her eyes locked onto my mouth. “Jesus, those lips…” She groaned, then reached down and grabbed me a beer. “Drink this,” she stated, setting the bottle down in front of me. “I need a distraction before I pull you over the bar and have my way with you. Again.”

  She winked and I laughed. “Um, thanks.” I handed her some money for the beer, and a little extra for anything else I might owe the bar. I didn’t always remember to pay. Pete was used to it though. He kept a tab for the band under the register, and took it from our pay if we owed anything at the end of the month.

  When Kiera reappeared from the hallway, I couldn’t help but smile at her. She looked great in her red Pete’s shirt. Amazing, actually. Sensual. The bright color brought out the pink undertones in her skin, making her look a little flushed, like she’d just had sex. Her messy ponytail highlighted her slim neck, emphasizing the illusion. I knew I shouldn’t be looking at her that way, but I wasn’t dead. I noticed attractiveness same as any other man, and Kiera was extremely attractive. She was going to do very well here. Even if she didn’t feel it yet, she looked as if she’d always been here.

  She was frowning though when she returned to my side. I wasn’t sure why until I realized she was looking at the beer in my hand. That’s when I remembered that I was supposed to have been her first customer. Oops. “Sorry, Rita beat you to it. Next time.”

  Jenny took Kiera away after that, showing her the ropes. I watched Jenny teaching Kiera for a while. Longer than I should have. But eventually it came to the point where I had to go, so I made my way over to Kiera to say goodbye. I handed her a tip for my beer, the one she missed getting for me. Her brows were bunched as she took it. “For my beer,” I explained. She looked about to reject it, but I held my hand up to stop her. She needed it. I didn’t. “I have a gig at another bar. I gotta go meet the guys…give them a hand with all our stuff.”

  Her eyes softened as she looked me over. “Thank you so much for the ride, Kellan.”

  I smiled down at her, my earlier contentment nothing compared to what I was feeling now. Just as I was about to comment, Kiera reached up on her toes and placed a light kiss on my cheek. She seemed embarrassed for doing it after she pulled away, and my skin was warmer where her lips had touched me. I wanted her to do it again, and yet, at the same time, I knew I shouldn’t want that. Kissing was something she did with Denny, and it should absolutely stay that way. They were great together. But it was just on the cheek…It didn’t mean anything. I mean, I kissed Denny on the cheek this morning. It was no big deal.

  I looked down, almost feeling embarrassed myself. “Don’t mention it,” I muttered, trying to think straight. Pulling myself together, I said goodbye to the others, then headed for the doors. I tossed Kiera a “Have fun” right before I left. By the way she smiled at me, I was sure she would.

  The next night, the band decided to go to Pete’s after rehearsal. Well, I don’t think it was really a decision, it was more like, “See you at the bar, right? Yep, I’ll be there,” as we were finishing.

  Denny pulled into the parking lot right as I was shutting off the engine of the Chevelle, and I waited for him at the back of my car. He was dressed in his work clothes, a big smile on his face as he made his way over to me. “Hey, mate, fancy meeting you here,” he told me.

  I clapped him on the shoulder and asked him how his job was going. By his answer, you’d think he’d just unlocked one of the secrets of the universe. A content smile was on my face as we walked toward the front doors of Pete’s. Both of my roommates were finding their way here. I liked that. And I was thrilled Denny was happy with his new job. They say you should do what you love, and he definitely seemed to love it.

  Matt, Griffin, and Evan walked in a few steps ahead of Denny and me. Like she could sense us, Kiera’s head swiveled in our direction. I was too far away to know for sure, but she seemed to inhale a deep breath, composing herself, like she was nervous to wait on us. Were the D-Bags intimidating? I really didn’t think we were. We were playful. Fun. We might tease her some, but we only teased the people we liked.

  She seemed to relax when she saw that Denny was with us. He tossed her a wave, and she curled her fingers in response. Quietly to me, he said, “Is it just me, or does she look a little frightened?”

  I laughed as I looked over at him. “It’s Griffin. He frightens everybody.” Almost as if on cue, Kiera’s eyes swung to Griffin and she immediately looked away, her cheeks clearly red even from a distance.

  Denny and I shared a laugh as we all made our way to my favorite table. When Kiera approached us, Evan scooped her up into a hug, making her laugh. Griffin squeezed her butt while she was helpless in Evan’s arms. She s
hot him a nasty glare that promised physical violence, but he was already sitting at the table, out of her reach. Matt held up his hand in greeting, and I gave her a brief nod. When Evan set her down Denny immediately took his place. Denny and Kiera wrapped their arms around each other, sharing a warm, peaceful kiss.

  No matter what individual fears they had, they found strength and comfort in each other. They were a team. That moved me, and I found myself continually wondering what it would be like to have something even moderately close to that.

  For the first time ever, my house was consistently warm, peaceful, and happy. Kiera and I hung out during the day; Denny and I hung out at night, usually at Pete’s, so he could see Kiera for a little bit. We got right back into our easy friendship, and after a while, it didn’t even seem like he’d ever left Seattle.

  Jenny commented on my good mood one evening while I watched Kiera work; Kiera was humming while she cleaned off a table, and I was pretty sure she was humming one of my songs. That made me insanely happy. “Hey, Kellan. How’s it going at your place? Everybody seems happy so far.”

  I tipped back my beer before I answered her. “It’s great. We all get along really well. Denny and Kiera are…good people.” My eyes drifted back to Kiera when I said her name. Hanging out with her was surprisingly refreshing. She wasn’t melodramatic, psychotic, or using me to fulfill some rock star fantasy. I could just be me with her.

  Jenny looked back at Kiera with me. Returning her eyes to mine, she narrowed them. I kept my expression even. I was just looking, no harm in that. “Yeah, she and Denny are adorable together.”

  I got the feeling that she was subtly telling me to leave Kiera alone. No warnings needed. I was solidly on the Denny/Kiera team. Giving Jenny a playful smile, I told her, “Not half as adorable as you and Evan.”

  She rolled her eyes at me as she glanced over at Evan sitting on the stage, flirting with a group of girls. I happened to know that he was currently in between love interests. If Jenny wanted a turn, now was the time to get in line. “Please, we’re just friends, Kellan.”

  “Yeah, but I saw you two cuddling on the Fourth, and you looked awful cozy.”

  She gave me a placating smile. “And I saw you with red, white, and blue what’s-her-name. Doesn’t mean anything.” She gave me a bright smile like she’d just won the argument. With a laugh, I let her.

  Holding my hands up, I said, “Okay. You got me. I was just throwing it out there.” Lowering my hands, I playfully added, “But when you two end up together, just remember…I called it.”

  She shook her head with an amused smile on her lips. “All right, Nostradamus, whatever you say.” I leaned back in my chair, chuckling to myself as she walked away.

  Matt and Griffin were nearby, showing Sam their new tattoos. Matt’s was the Chinese symbol for determination. Griffin’s was a girl getting it on with a snake; Griff loved suggestive tattoos. Having already seen their artwork, I tuned out my friends and watched Kiera as she bounced between her tables. She had taken to waitressing easily enough, and like Denny at his job and me at mine, she seemed to enjoy it.

  Kiera noticed me watching her just about the time my beer was empty. I motioned her over to get another one. “Hey. Beer?” she asked.

  I nodded, loving that she could anticipate my needs now. “Yeah, thanks, Kiera.”

  Her eyes flicked behind me a couple of times, and I would almost bet money that she was wishing Griffin would put his clothes back on. As she tucked a loose strand of dark hair behind her ear, her face suddenly flushed with color and she wouldn’t meet my eyes. She usually only turned that shade when I was teasing her, but I hadn’t said anything, so she must be thinking of something that she found embarrassing. Curiosity drove me to find out what it was.

  “What?” I asked, already amused.

  “Do you have one?” She pointed over at Griffin.

  I looked back at him. He was flexing his arm for a group of fans. They squealed as they touched him. “Tattoo?” I asked, turning back around. Shaking my head, I told her, “No, I can’t think of anything I’d want permanently etched on my skin.” Wondering if she had any markings hidden anywhere, I smiled and asked, “You?”

  She seemed a little flustered as she answered. “Nope…virgin skin here.” Apparently, she hadn’t meant to say that, for she turned bright red. I had to laugh at the unhappy expression on her face as she muttered, “I’ll be right back with your beer…”

  She sped away from me like a bullet from a gun. Shaking my head, I kept chuckling. I wasn’t sure why she was so easily embarrassed; there was certainly nothing about her or her personality that needed to feel that way, but watching the inner struggle was amusing. And yet, at the same time, I hoped that she felt comfortable and confident in her own skin one day. She should feel that way. She was wonderful.

  While I watched, Denny burst through the doors, nearly colliding with her. He grabbed her shoulders, his face alight with what could only be good news. Kiera smiled, obviously happy to see him and eager to hear his news. Then her face fell. I frowned, wondering what was going on. Denny shrugged as he said something to her, and her mouth dropped open like he’d slugged her in the gut. I wished I was closer and could hear what they were saying, but I knew the conversation was none of my business, so I stayed put.

  Kiera looked upset while she rattled something off to Denny. Denny looked confused while he explained something to her. Then she suddenly exclaimed, “What?” People throughout the bar started turning to look at the couple, who were obviously starting to argue. I stood from my chair, concerned. Denny and Kiera didn’t argue. Ever. Or if they did, it certainly wasn’t in a public place like this.

  Denny looked around at the curious eyes, grabbed Kiera’s arm, and pulled her outside. I took a step, wanting to follow, but this had nothing to do with me. I couldn’t intrude. I had a really bad feeling though.

  Keeping my eyes on the doors, I walked to the bar to get a beer. While I sipped on it, I stared at the doors and willed Denny and Kiera to come back through them their normal, happy, all-is-right-with-the-world selves. I sort of had the feeling that they were breaking up, and it filled me with dread. What would happen to our makeshift family if they split? Why the hell would Denny break up with her anyway? She was warm, sweet, funny, real…beautiful. She was as close to perfect as a girl could get.

  When the doors finally reopened, Kiera was alone. I didn’t take that as a good sign. She was trying to put on a brave face, that much I could tell, but when she swiped her fingers under her eyes, I knew she was on the verge of failing. Something was wrong.

  Frowning, I walked over to her. “Are you okay?”

  Her eyes were red and shimmering as she avoided eye contact and looked over my shoulder. She’d been crying, and she was about to do it again. “Yep.”

  It didn’t take a genius to see she was lying. “Kiera…” Talk to me.

  I put a hand on her arm, hoping she’d open up. She raised her eyes to mine, and the floodgates released. I immediately pulled her into my arms. Protectiveness surged through me as I held her tight to my chest. How dare Denny hurt her! Even as I thought that, I knew I couldn’t judge what I didn’t understand, so I did my best to push that feeling aside. Resting my cheek against her head, I rubbed her back, soothing her as best I could while she sobbed. People around us stared, but I didn’t care. She needed me, and I was going to be there for her.

  I was mildly surprised at how natural holding her felt. She fit into my body perfectly, like we’d been molded for each other. And comforting her was stirring things inside me. Besides wanting to protect her, save her, something else was growing…friendship, or maybe something even deeper than that. I wasn’t sure. All I knew was I didn’t want to let go.

  I wasn’t sure how long we stood there embracing, but eventually Sam came up to me. I knew what he was going to say before he even said it. The band was on, it was time to go play. I shook my head at him, warning him to give me a minute. Kiera peeked up at me
, disrupting our contact. She was mostly under control now, just a few sad tears escaping that she swiped from her cheeks. “I’m fine. Thank you. Go, go be a rock star.”

  Concerned, I asked, “Are you sure? These guys can wait a few more minutes.” If you need me, I’m here for you.

  She smiled, touched by my offer even as she rejected it. “No, really, I’m fine. I should get back to work anyway. I missed getting you your beer again.”

  I didn’t want to, but I released her. With a chuckle, I told her, “Next time.”

  I rubbed her arm, wishing she was as fine as she was pretending to be, cursing the fact that I had to leave her to go onstage, and wondering why the silkiness of her skin made my heart beat faster.

  Shaking that irrelevant thought aside, I let her get back to work. Maybe she’d feel okay enough after the show to open up to me. I really hoped so. I wanted her to talk to me, wanted her to trust me. I would never do anything to hurt or betray her, and I wanted her to see that. She meant a lot to me.

  Chapter 6

  I’m Here for You

  Evan was eyeing me strangely when I walked onto the stage. Relax, I’m not going to do anything with Kiera. I wouldn’t charm her, hit on her, or be inappropriate in any way with her. She was Denny’s.

  I watched her throughout the set, trying to gauge her mood. I’d run off the stage and collect her in my arms if she needed me to again. She just had to give me a sign that she was breaking down. She didn’t though; she just gave me reassuring smiles whenever she caught me looking.

  But when her shift was over, she sat backward in a chair and looked for all the world like she didn’t want to go home. She even wiped away some more tears, like she was starting to cry again. Hoping she’d finally open up to me, I sat in a chair beside her. “Hey,” I said when she peeked over at me. “Want to talk about it?”